Darren’s 100 Day Flab #12: As I was coming up the stairs, I met a man who wasn’t there

Challenge: Because he ran past me so blooming fast! Run up (and down) stairs 10 times

Another day and yet another challenge that I thought I may as well try. This one is the stairs challenge. Iseult can be so cruel…just like I can be so cruel…#LabyrinthJokes4Life #LabyrinthBitchesRepresent

To be honest, I saw these stairs in the park and thought I’d be able to run up and down these ten times with such ease. I’d just put some music on and it’ll be like the running challenge I did a few days back.

Oh my God, this totally SLAYED me! It slayed me to the point I was looking around to see if Buffy the Vampire Slayer had decided to get a second job as a personal trainer because this challenge took the piss!

As cheesy as this may sound, I stuck a bit of the Rocky soundtrack on. It’s the music that plays during the montage scene and he’s running up the stairs and celebrating (yeah, I know, it’s very apt).

So I blasted up the stairs until I got to the fourth set and I was starting to get out of breath. I got to the point where I just felt my lungs wanting to burst and my legs were just crying “OH HELL TO THE NAH! I KNOW YOU AIN’T KILLING ME OFF!” but I carried on. I kept on and on and on until the tenth set and when I got to the top, I was going to slide down until I saw that the slide looked gross and wet from all of the rain so I just pegged it back down and sat on the swings for a breather. It’s the first time I sat on the swings in forever.

Seriously though, with doing that, the Sally workout three times and the running, my legs should be the size of boulders and they should have strength that even the Hulk could never match!

89 days to go–the Flabdominal Challenge

Iseult’s twelfth challenge – Have You Got Buns, Hun?: My Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ktmRlKxu_c)

Oh my! Darren is determined to either get me dancing, or kill me – I’m not sure which!

This is a dance workout to Nicky Minaj’s song ‘Anaconda’, choreographed by a cool lady called Lauren Fitz of Club Fitz.

It’s only 4:51 minutes long, but it feels longer! I found it exhausting, but it was fun and I will definitely do it again. It’s hard when you don’t know the dance moves, because you have to watch the screen and try to keep in time, but I’m sure I’ll improve with a few more repetitions and then I’ll be dancing like a pro!

Darren’s Weigh-in and Measurements #1: So Close and Yet So Far!

Guys, I am officially near enough under that pesky 17 stone mark! This is truly exciting times for me! Back when I was 18 stone and 5 pounds, I thought it wasn’t going to shift and that I would forever be yo-yoing up and down forever. However, yesterday morning, I jumped on the scales (well, I didn’t do that, I’d end up breaking them- it’d be like an elephant jumping on glass!) and I waited for the magic numbers to tell me how fat I was.

I never took a picture so you’ll have to believe me when I say that when I started the challenge, I was 17 stone and 6 pounds. Now, after ten days of doing the challenge, taking into account as well that last week, I had three bags of popcorn, I am now…

…17st and 1lb! Oh yes, baby! You know what that means? I have managed to lose an incredible 5lb in just over a week! For the first time, I’m feeling like it’s a possibility that I could potentially be slim come Summertime! I’ll be measuring myself (not that part of me, cheeky! I’m talking about my body!) and weighing myself every month. For now though, here are my measurements:

Chest- 111cm (43.7in)
Arm- 32cm (12.5in)
Thigh- 66cm (25.9in)
Waist- 107cm (42.1in)

See you on November 1st!

90 days to go–the Flabdominal Challenge

Iseult’s eleventh challenge – … Just like I can be so cruel: work out a food plan for the week and keep to your protein intake and fat intake whilst staying within 100 calories of your calorie goal every day.

Okay, Darren, I apologise. It’s hard to work out a meal plan hitting your macros every day and staying within calorie goal. I find it easy to make my protein target, but much harder to hit my fat goals and stay under calorie goal – so I haven’t, but I’ve got pretty darn close.

My stats at the moment are :

Daily calorie goal: 1460 calories

Daily carb goal: 37g carbohydrate

Daily fat goal: 105g fat

Daily protein goal: 91g protein

I adjust my stats with every 10lbs lost.

Some notes on my meal plan: I love frozen veggies and Quorn because they are cheap. I plan my meals in advance and buy my food every 4 – 6 weeks, so things that keep in the freezer are great. I tend to eat the same foods a lot during that time period and then change the menu for the next month.

I love meat. The meals with steak, meatballs and pork have been generously provided by my sisters.

Monday and Tuesday: Totals for day 1417 cals, 37g carbs, 93g fat, 101g protein

Breakfast: 477 cals, 0g carbs, 42g fat, 33g protein

4 bacon rashers, 2 medium eggs fried with 1 spoon of olive oil

Lunch: 405 cals, 16g carbs, 26g fat, 25g protein

100g each of steamed baby carrots, soya beans and broccoli, mixed with 30g grated gruyere cheese and 30g sun dried tomato pesto. If I’m feeling fancy, I’ll pop it into the oven for a few minutes to melt the cheese.

Dinner: 585 cals, 21g carbs, 25g fat, 43g protein

150g Quorn mince cooked with 75g tomato puree and 32g pesto, then 20g grated parmesan cheese melted in 5 minutes before serving. Another 20g parmesan cheese sprinkled on top when plating up. 225g country mix veg (carrots, broccoli and cauliflower) steamed.

Wednesday: Totals for day 1432 cals, 52g carbs, 83g fat, 101g protein

Breakfast: Same as Monday and Tuesday.

Lunch: 509 cals, 47g carbs, 18g fat, 38g protein

7 Quorn Kiev bites with 100g each of steamed carrots, peas, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts.

Dinner: 446 cals, 5g carbs, 23g fat, 38g protein

150g Quorn chicken cooked with 32g sun dried tomato pesto and 40g parmesan cheese – 1/2 cooked in and 1/2 sprinkled on top. 225g steamed country mix veg.

Thursday: Totals for day 1448 cals, 60g carbs, 95g fat, 92g protein

Breakfast: Same as M,T and W

Lunch: 493 cals, 49g carbs, 19g fat, 29g protein

Quorn garlic and mushroom escalope, 100g each of steamed peas, cauliflower, carrots and Brussels sprouts.

Dinner: 478 cals, 11g carbs, 34g fat, 30g protein

4 walnut meatballs (Jamie Oliver’s recipe), sauce made from passata, red pepper pesto, parmesan and peas and accompanied by 200g of steamed country mix veg.

Friday: Totals for day 1430 cals, 48g carbs, 86g fat, 101g protein

Breakfast: 392 cals, 9g carbs, 27g fat, 28g protein

Omelette made from 100ml reduced fat milk, 2 medium eggs, 30g grated parmesan, a little salt and pepper, cooked in 1/2 spoon of olive oil and 50g each of spinach and broccoli added just before serving.

Lunch: 405cals, 16g carbs, 26g fat, 25g protein

100g each of steamed baby carrots, soya beans and broccoli, mixed with 30g sun dried tomato pesto and 30g grated gruyere cheese.

Dinner: 535cals, 21g carbs, 25g fat, 43g protein

150g Quorn mince cooked with 75g tomato puree, 32g pesto, 40g grated parmesan – 1/2 added 5 minutes before serving, the other 1/2 added when plating up – with 225g steamed country mix veg.

Snacks: 98 cals, 2g carbs, 8g fat, 5g protein

17g (roughly one spoon) crunchy peanut butter

Saturday: Totals for day 1441 cals, 70g carbs, 86g fat, 102g protein

Breakfast: Same as Friday.

Lunch: 429 cals, 20g carbs, 28g fat, 31g protein

4 bacon rashers, 100g each of steamed cauliflower, carrots and peas with 10g of butter for the veg.

Dinner: 410 cals, 20g carbs, 23g fat, 31g protein

114g fillet steak cooked in 1 tablespoon olive oil, 100g each of steamed peas, carrots and cauliflower.

Snacks: 210 cals, 21g carbs, 8g fat, 12g protein

Almond and cherry protein snack

Sunday: Totals for the day 1456 cals, 135g carbs, 48g fat, 105g protein

Breakfast: 174 cals, 3g carbs, 14g fat, 9g protein

30g crunchy peanut butter.

Lunch: 808 cals, 114g carbs, 11g fat, 54g protein

200g oven roast pork loin, 400g oven roast veg – beetroot, carrots, Brussels sprouts, turnip. Lashings of cider gravy.

Dinner: 357 cals, 18g carbs, 14g fat, 32g protein

150g Quorn chicken cooked with 32g pesto and 30g grated parmesan cheese, 100g each of steamed cauliflower, carrots and Brussels sprouts.

 

Darren’s 100 Day Flab #11: Snakes! Why Did It Have To Be Snakes?!

Challenge: Dance to Anaconda (coz you know you wanna!)

My challenge today was going to be to do 20 Zombies in the gym. However, because my alarm clock didn’t wake me up, I slept right through to the point where it was too late for me to go to the gym on account of I have to go to work in about an hour and a half’s time so instead, I did the Anaconda challenge.

Basically, it’s just me completing this Zumba class of Anaconda by Nicki Minaj. The woman behind the class is called Lauren Fitz and she runs a class called Zumfit. It’s like Zumba but it has more chart-related songs and hip-hop songs. If I’m honest, I prefer her videos to the actual Zumba ones (I wasn’t told to say this by her, it’s the truth, they’re a lot more fun and more easy to listen to).

So yeah, I did the video. It was a lot of fun and I’ve subscribed to her. However, if you’re working out and you want to watch this through a mobile phone, you’ll have to create a Google+ account and share the video through there, like I had to. It’s easy to do and totally worth it.

Darren’s 100 Day Flab #10: Take a Load Off, Sally

Challenge: But no rest for you – 3 sets of Sally squats and push ups throughout the day

I know how you feel, Grumpy Cat. The only difference is that you’ve only heard the song once. I’ve heard it six times today! SIX TIMES! Can you imagine that, cat? Six times?

Set One

I woke up today and straight away went into Sally Squats, which was pretty much a piece of cake…

Mmmmm cake…
We’re losing him! Focus, Darren, focus!
Right, sorry, where was I…

…however, the problem I had came with the Sally push-ups, which absolutely slayed me trying to do the proper push-ups. I didn’t even last ten seconds. I did the push-up ones on my knees in the morning and at the end of them, my arms were shot.

 Set Two

Lunchtime and I was at work. I didn’t really think it through when I set myself this challenge. I then had the genius and yet weird idea. At work, my toilets are the disabled toilets so there’s plenty of room. I went in there and did the Sally squats but not the Sally push-ups because…eww…not touching the floors at all. I could have done the push-ups on the wall but…eww…

I came home, put my stuff on the bed, stuck the song on on my phone and I did the push-ups there.

Set Three

I just did them after writing the title ‘Set Three’. Right now, my legs are absolutely killing me like I’ve done nothing but jump on a trampoline for twelve hours and my arms feel like they’ve been hit by bricks. FEEL SORRY FOR ME!

I’m sure I’ll be better for tomorrow but I can just tell I won’t be doing any Zombies or Sallies this week. I’ll try and do the Zombie challenge on Saturday but I can’t promise anything. Still, I’m hoping this will give me results and it’s good to prepare for The Walking Dead Challenge happening in ten days’ time.

Darren’s 100 Day Flab #9: Run, You Clever Boy, and Remember…

Challenge: Run for five minutes

This challenge was perfect for me. I like running, I’m a clever boy and I remembered to do this task.

I was at work all day so I had to do this during my break. Honestly, I didn’t feel like doing it because I was rushing around non-stop and my feet were pretty achy but I pushed myself. I remembered the days when I was really fat and wished I could run. Now I can and I’m wasting it on not being bothered?

Screw. That!

I got off my arse and went out on my break and ran around the block for five minutes. I know it was five minutes because I purposely listened to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance, which was 4 minutes and 55 seconds long and I just new that as soon as another song started, I’d run for 5 more seconds.

I did the entire thing without stopping but I decided to see how far I could go without stopping so I know I heard another two songs before I stopped because I didn’t want to tire myself out for work. After all, I was on my break.

I listened to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance (4.55), Redlight’s 9TS (4.45) and Shadows Fall’s Still I Rise- SAW IV Remix (3.28) so altogether, the time I ran was 12 minutes and 28 seconds without stopping.

That’s pretty good going!

91 days to go–the Flabdominal Challenge

Iseult’s tenth challenge – Think Happy Thoughts: Write a post about your favourite experience of weight loss so far in life.

This isn’t my first rodeo, as they say.

I’ve been obese since the age of four, went on my first ‘proper’ diet when I was seven (Unislim meal replacement shakes, if you’re interested) and went up and down in weight my entire life. Never getting out of the obese/morbid obese weight range, but fluctuating quite a bit within that range.

When I was 15 I joined weight watchers. I started around 18st and in a couple of years I got down to about 13st. The summer I reached my lowest weight I went on holiday with my family and I suggested we go horse riding, because it was something I had always wanted to do and I had never been light enough, fit enough or physically well enough to go before that year.

Fun fact – when I was a child, I was convinced I would get a pony for my birthday EVERY YEAR! Never happened. Never even got a riding lesson.

Anyway, horse riding turned out to be just as amazing as I always dreamed it would be, and after the holiday I phoned all the local stables to find out about lessons and bullied my sister into taking me.

This is me a few years after that riding holiday, at about 17st. It was getting hard to get on the horse at this weight, and I’m sure it was even harder on the horse having to carry me around. I gave up riding shortly after this because of my increasing weight. Being able to ride horses again is one of my goals for losing weight this time around.

About ten years later I had ballooned to 20st, around my highest weight (at that time) and I sought help from a nutritional therapist to help me lose weight for good. I lost five stone in about 18 months and I was able to do lots of things, including go on lots of holidays that I never would have been able to go on before because of my higher weight.

This is me in Queenstown, New Zealand. I’m about 16st here, but quite fit. This was a dream holiday and a very happy time in my life. One whole month of touring New Zealand with my sister. I got to do lots of things I never dreamed I would be able to do – getting on boats, going whale watching, hiking to a glacier, petting a tiger, riding a cable car.

Did my weight still hold me back? Sure. I would have loved to have gone sky diving and done other things like that, but I didn’t make the weight limit.

Did I feel limited by my weight? Not at all.

I don’t have a happy experience from weight loss this time around to relate. I’m sure they are ahead of me. It is good to look back and see what I could do at a lower weight and work hard to get there again. It is nice to be able to fit into airplane seats and not have to worry about whether you can do something or if it will hold you. I forget sometimes what brighter days can be like, so it is nice to look back and remember that things can be better than they are now.

 

92 days to go–the Flabdominal Challenge

Iseult’s ninth challenge – The cold never bothered me anyway: Draw yourself as the Ice Queen for your avatar

 

Darren calls me the Ice Queen. I guess it’s because I’m cold and have lots of subjects. Anyway, this is my first drawing of her. She has icy skin but wears furry boots because her feet get cold (I guess). She is holding an apple to symbolise diet – and holding it up high, because it’s the most important part of weight loss – and a barbell to represent exercise. Her crown is made out of icicles, so she must get brain freeze all the time.

Diet for weight loss, exercise for fitness. She is a wise ice queen.